Early in the morning I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed when I came across a friends post mentioning the horrific shooting of an elderly man named Robert Godwin on Facebook live. Shocked, saddened and horrified all I could do was pray.
Finding Your Passion | A Love-Hate Relationship With Your Calling
I think a lot of people give up on the one thing they’re really passionate about.
Much of it has to do with our perspective. We assume because God gifted us in a particular area that we should automatically love it and want to do it all the time.
When in reality, Pursuing your passion is really more of a Love-Hate relationship.Pursuing your passion is really more of a Love-Hate relationship. Click To Tweet
The Struggle Is Real
I’ve had my own personal struggle over the years with my passion for music and always hit the same roadblock; not always “Wanting” to do it.Unless giftedness is coupled with a complimentary work ethic it'll only result in wasted potential -Mark Batterson (Chase The Lion) Click To Tweet
It’s the weirdest thing!
When I’m working on music I get lost in it and it’s the most amazing feeling, but it’s not an easy process. Turning off all the noise around me and taking time to work on my craft can be difficult.
It’s hard work and requires a lot of time and patience. It can be hours and hours of working on one verse, one line or one melody.
Often times, just thinking of all the ideas I want to accomplish with music can be overwhelming. There are so many things I desire to do with it and create that it can feel like too much.
A Thin Line
When it comes to something we care a lot about we become fearful of “messing it up”.
We approach our dreams and passions in the same way; too afraid to go after it because of the hurt we’ll feel if we fail.We forfeit our dreams on the altar of fear- Mark Batterson (Chase The Lion) Click To Tweet
We love our passion because it’s what inspires and gives us purpose, but we hate how afraid we are of giving it breath and life.
“It’s a thin line between loving and hating your passion”
You Should “Want” To
It’s because of this fine line between loving and hating your passion that I think a lot of us give up. Society tells us that if we don’t “Want to do it” all the time then it obviously isn’t what we should be doing.
I personally think society got it wrong and don’t subscribe to that philosophy. It contradicts all the foundational principles for sustaining any kind of relationship. Especially a relationship with our passion!
You would never tell a husband “Well if you don’t ‘feel’ like loving your wife then you shouldn’t be with her.”
No that would be crazy and irrational! So then why would you ever give this advice to someone regarding the one thing they’re most passionate about?
We all know how unreliable our feelings can be; they’re fleeting. You can’t just decide to give up on something you love simply based on how you feel.
Relationships Are Work
We have to change our perspective about what finding and pursuing your passion will look like. The truth is that it’s hard work and a lot of times you won’t “want” to do it. Nothing about this relationship will be easy.
Any kind of love isn’t easy.
Our relationship with our calling is no different.
It takes years of discipline and hard work to get to the point that you “want” to do it. Even when you don’t feel like it.
We easily look at someone else’s relentless obsession with their passion and think our’s somehow pales in comparison. Remember, that person has their own personal relationship with their calling. Stay focused on yours.
Don’t let your lack of motivation toward your calling determine your level of ability to achieve it.Don't let your lack of motivation toward your calling determine your level of ability to achieve it. Click To Tweet
It’s a Journey
Just like our relationships with people, there will be seasons of highs and lows with our passion. Sometimes it’ll feel like you can’t live your life without it and other times it’ll feel like you made the biggest mistake by pursuing it.
Even right now you may feel uninspired and want to quit. Maybe you think you’re not called to pursue that gifting because you’re comparing yourself to others.
But don’t give up on your calling! No one said it would be easy. In fact, God said it would be hard at times.
But he put your calling in you and He will be faithful to complete it.
He will reignite your passion.
All you have to do is fall back in love!
A Engagement Restored By God | My Story
Based on the title of this post you can imagine there’s so much to fill you in on. God’s been doing some crazy things in my life.
The initial response usually starts with……
“You’re engaged?! WHAT?!!!” Immediately followed by “I didn’t even know you were in a relationship!!”
Both of which are completely valid and hysterical reactions!You're engaged?! What?! I didn't even know you were in a relationship! Click To Tweet
A Little Backstory
From 2014 to 2015 I was engaged to the love of my life, Steve. After a year of engagement we spent a few months trying to give it time and space, but nothing helped. Needless to say it didn’t work out. It devastated both of us in different ways and we went into 2016 as two people moving forward with our separate lives.
The brokenness and loss of that love was one of the catalysts for starting my Blog. After months of healing and battling through the grief of a loss so great I knew God was calling me to share my life and testimony to help others.
Two months into blogging, I felt God tugging on my heart to share my story of lost love. It became my first official VLOG and one of the most vulnerable things I’ve ever had to do; A video about getting through a broken engagement and facing singleness again.
Link to that video here: “How To Face And Embrace Your Season Of Singleness”
It Started With My Birthday
My first Birthday since our break-up was a particularly difficult and emotional one given that we have the same birthday. Yup! Same exact day. It was something very special we shared together for years. And after ten months of no contact with Steve, no text, no call, no email, it was finally the moment of truth. Do I text him Happy birthday? Or maybe he’ll text me for my birthday.
Midnight came and went, birthday over. I never texted him and he never texted me.
Through a complete act of God we ended up messaging each other the next day. It was a pleasant exchange and I thought that would be it. But then Steve asked if we could meet up for tea some time. We both love tea!
Given that I’d just spent the last ten months trying to get over this person, I had some concerns. I thought to myself “Oh come on God! I finally accepted that I can’t have this man. I don’t know if I can handle this”Oh come on God! I finally accepted that I can't have this man. I don't know if I can handle this Click To Tweet
After a lot of thought and prayer I decided to meet. I thought it could be a good source of healing and closure. So we met the next day, chatted about life and caught up. The more he spoke the more I realized how much he’d changed. And I could tell he sensed the changes in me as well.The old has passed away behold the new has come Corinthians 5:17 Click To Tweet
We discussed a lot of difficult topics and some old wounds. It truly was healthy. I couldn’t believe it! The most painful part of our conversation was when we talked about moving on and the fact that we would eventually have to start dating other people.
As painful as that reality was, it sounded a million times worse hearing it out loud. But we both knew it as the truth. We said our goodbyes and that was that. I drove home feeling both good and bad; Accepting that this was what God wanted.
The Game Changer
A few days later I got a text from Steve asking if I’d ever be willing to meet up again. I knew this could be a slippery slope. So I prayed. Something inside me felt compelled to meet him. I had no idea what he wanted to say. But I just had to see him.
It was amazing! We talked for hours and communicated in a way that we never had before. I remember it feeling so healthy, different and blessed. Hours later we both looked at each other and we knew. Both surprised and relieved to realize we were still in love with each other. Everyone would think we’re insane for even considering this again!
God gives us Wisdom
I knew my next step would be meeting with my Spiritual mentor. An amazingly Godly woman who knows all about my relationship. I met with her to seek wisdom.
I was completely shocked when she responded by saying “That’s great! You’ve prayed and you’ve both grown and changed. If you feel like this is something from God then spend time together and talk and see what God does.”
The best piece of advice she gave us was not to announce it to people. Not that it was something bad or we were hiding. But we needed time and space to let things naturally progress without pressure from loved ones. Thinking about getting back together with your fiancé after almost a year apart is no easy feet to overcome.
We spent the next few weeks meeting up for tea, a walk or a hike.
The whole month of November we spent time together. We would meet about once a week and were very intentional about having healthy boundaries. It was important to protect both of our hearts.Wait on the Lord: be of good courage and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say, on the Lord Psalm 27:14 Click To Tweet
God was leading us at His pace and timing was the top priority. In the time we weren’t able to see each other we spent a lot of time with God in prayer.
There were so many issues God revealed to both of us. A lot of deep rooted issues that had never truly been addressed. It was hard and eye opening. I was even surprised by the unseen hurt hiding deep in my heart. Buried so deep.
A New Chapter
By December we both knew this was right and wanted to be together. We knew the seriousness of the situation and didn’t want to waste any more time. After a lot more prayer and discussion Steve went to talk to my dad. I was terrified!
How easily we forget God has it under control.
The next few weeks in January we spent letting our immediate family know. And on February 14th 2017, Valentine’s Day, Steve gave me the ring that he’d asked me to wear 3 years prior, except he asked me to wear it forever this time.
This moment symbolized everything coming full circle. There was something so deep within drawing us to one another. Something inside both of us just didn’t want to be with anyone else and didn’t want to do life apart.And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job...the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. Job 42:10 Click To Tweet
So here we are, engaged again. Some people say we’re crazy. Some would say it was a waste of time. But we had to go through it. And now we have this amazing story and testimony of a relationship ordained, destined and redeemed by God.
It was the hardest thing we’ve ever been through, but neither of us would change our story. It’s messy. It’s not perfect. It’s not your average fairytale.
It’s a love restored by God!
***Photo Credit: By Sadie Johnson at Centerpeace Photography
DIY Marble Desk Makeover | Cheap & Easy (IKEA HACK)!
Watch me Makeover my old IKEA Desk into a beautiful all white and Marble piece. I absolutely love the way it came out and it was super cheap and easy.
For anyone who doesn’t know, I recently moved and now have a new office space. I’ve been trying to make the space my own and this DIY Marble Desk Makeover is one more step in that process.
Check out the complete list of what you need for this DIY By clicking the SHOP tab in the Menu.